Let’s work toward personally sustainable success

A quick internet search of work-life balance will return articles telling you what it is, tips to achieve it, and all the reasons you are not balanced. It’s overwhelming. I have plenty of days that are chaotic, when my life is nothing like I envisioned, and I feel like salmon swimming upstream so I read the articles in hopes that it will have an answer to my struggles.

Recommendations in various articles include: take breaks (I probably take too many), ask for flexibility (I own the business, so check), learn to say “no” (I’m really good at this one, particularly when the request is from the school), set boundaries and work hours (done), be efficient with your time (I could always improve this), take a vacation (It was fabulous last month), and find a job you love (yes, yes I do). As I read the articles, I mentally check off the many things I am doing “right” by their standards. So why do I still feel “unbalanced” so frequently?

Is it truly balance I’m seeking?

Balance is about equilibrium and finding that point where everything steadies and stays level. As life moves forward, things are constantly changing. The goals we set, whether revenue, weight loss, or time spent with our kids, are not static. The world around us impacts our ability to achieve those goals. Life marches on and we need to be able to sustain ourselves in a healthy way no matter what wrenches are thrown at us.

I propose that this year we reduce our focus on balance and instead focus on personally sustainable success. Let’s figure out what we need to feel good about ourselves, our progress, our achievements, and our work-life interactions and do that in a way that is sustainable to each of us uniquely.

What is personally sustainable success and how do I get there?

Personally – It’s all about YOU. What are YOU trying to achieve. When you decide what you want out of the year or month or week, make it about what will work for you. I love my work and getting to help small business owners. I will happily skip some school activities if I get to attend events for my company or work directly with business owners. That is me. I know many people who would feel differently about skipping kid activities. That’s okay. The whole point of living life is to live YOURS not what others are telling you yours should be focused on.

• Ask yourself what are the right mix of activities YOU need in a defined period to feel good about how you are expending energy?

• Are there certain activities you want to always be present for, like your kid’s band concerts or weekly date night?

• Are their certain objectives that you want to achieve such as learn a new language, better understand your company’s financial statements or expand your network?

Sustainable – Trying to hit a goal that is going to have you scrambling through each day, or constantly exhausted, or worse, hurt your physical or mental health seems like a bad way to live. I suffer from chronic muscle tension headaches and when I’m in a good place, they are almost non-existent. When my stress, health, and happiness suffer, they become unbearable. I use them as a barometer for my sustainability level. When I work all weekend, I enter the week exhausted and my headaches get stronger. So I avoid working 7 days in a row as much as possible. Whatever you are trying to achieve or however you want your life to look, it needs to be achieved in a way that does not hinder your ability to enjoy the journey or the destination.

• What limits do you need to set to stay healthy while moving towards success?

• What commitments are making you feel exhausted or stretched-thin and can they be eliminated or reduced through automation/delegation?

• How can you calibrate throughout the month to ensure you are remaining on a sustainable path?

Success – There are many official definitions of success that revolve around accomplishment, meeting expectations, and achieving goals. The key here is to know what you define as success. Success for me is about having an impact, not just with business owners, but with my community and family. If my kid can see me enjoying helping business owners and I’m able to give back to my community, then I feel successful.

• What would professional and personal success look and feel like to you?

• Can you achieve the success you envision in a way that keeps you healthy?

Is it that easy?

Of course, none of this is easy. As much as I have identified what I need to do to achieve personally sustainable success, there are always wrenches thrown. The goal posts frequently move as our lives evolve and change. Maintaining a date night schedule is very different than maintaining a live-together relationship. Having a preschooler requires different boundaries than a high schooler, and even those boundaries are different if you are juggling band rehearsals or a traveling soccer team. The key is to decide your goal posts for now, monitor your progress, and adjust when your situation and needs change.

When I map out what I want to accomplish from a personally sustainable success lens, I know that I have goals and needs that are different from the “ideals” espoused by many. My health will always come first in whatever I set out to do, because if I am not healthy I won’t have the capacity to help more business owners or be present for my family. When I set the goals for my business, I assess if they are realistic based on my need to not work a gazillion hours.

Some days, I feel really good about the steps I am taking to build sustainable success for myself and other days I question what I was thinking. With each new day, I start fresh in building the life I want, that I can sustain and that will allow me to achieve what I envision for the future. I avoid the word balance because there is no equilibrium between my work and life. There is sustainable success, which allows me to enjoy each and every day.

Will you join me on the quest to achieve our own unique versions of personally sustainable success?